Fudge-Chunk-A-Lunk & Proctologists

Don’t settle in life, especially when it comes to ice cream.  If I’m going to eat ice cream, give me a pint of the purest chocolate-fudge-chunk-a-lunk-ass-ballooning-salty-nut-caramel-swirl…along with a Weight Watchers catalogue to read while I’m spooning it into my mouth.

Our research class talks about classification of variables.  Time is an independent variable, like age.  Today, I am 24.918 years old; tomorrow I will be 24.921 years old.  Clearly this variable changes, and not only that, it’s always increasing.  Thank you, professor, for the reminder on a Monday afternoon at 4:30 pm that we are living in order to die.  Might as well go buy a pack of cigs and petition McDonald’s to run a drive-thru on Anguilla.

Thou shalt remain anonymous: “I had to dump a girl in high school because she kept saying 4 letter words…STOP…DON’T…QUIT.”  This same person later asked,  “When does a girl become a woman?”  To which I replied, “When she can say four letter words…STOP… DON’T…QUIT…plus…MAKE-THIS-FAST.”

Professor N: “Anybody want to be a Proctologist? They do a lot of stuff from behind…I recommend you don’t do things from behind if you can help it.”

“Reflexes are either present or absent, I don’t care who your daddy is, you go into clinicals saying reflexes are positive or negative you’ll look stupid.”

“Stay out of hospitals in July, that’s when new residents come in and they don’t know anything- they’ll kill you.  Get sick in December.”

Cute Nikki from Canada: “This is what you do Tuesday in med school because you partied Monday night after exams…put your headphones in, put your hoodie up and pretend to watch YouTube Dr. Najeeb.”……………..and try not to drool.

Remember the time when you forgot shin guards and put cardboard in your socks?  Just as effective as a cardboard house in the rain.

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While guys on the soccer field have JTSC (Just Too Sexy for Clothes) Syndrome .  I’m sitting in my exam with CRS Syndrome- Can’t Remember Shit Syndrome…side effects include looking at your paper with an onset of nausea, fatigue, and blurry vision…ironically while solving a Visual Fields problem.

(After reading  a vignette as long as it takes your grandmother to walk from Mexico to New York) Where’s the lesion in your patient?

A. CN II

B. Right CN II

C. Left Temporal lobe

D. In your head

E. None of the above

F. All of the above

G. Answers E and F

**I’d say the best answer for my ‘Shit-ario’ is…D

Professor G: “What should we do with a drunken sailor, what should we do with a drunken sailor, what should we do with a drunken sailor…put him in bed with the captain’s daughter, put him in bed with the captain’s daughter…”

“Ahoy!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Fudge-Chunk-A-Lunk & Proctologists

  1. You seem to be having way to much fun. Are you really studying medicine or majoring in campusology as I did??????

    I wood be happy To serve as a live guinea pig for your studies, however I will not sit still, errr…. bend over for you in your study of proctology. The company I worked for took care of that particular exam…….

    Like

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