Let the 2016 One-Liners Begin

Student: “I feel like a just entered a time warp coming back to Anguilla. It’s another world down here…with goats, chickens and lizards as the national wildlife.” (Much like entering the wardrobe in The Chronicles of Narnia.)

Student and Professor N:  When talking about neurotoxins, “How do you spell that?”  “T…H…A…T…careful how you ask questions.”

Professor N: “Who can I pick on…Lydia, and who else…Nathan.  So here’s a scenario for you, Nathan was stimulating Lydia’s T4 Dermatome during lecture (class uproars in laughter)…you guys are terrible.  He wasn’t rubbing her nipple he was rubbing her back, and don’t you forget it.”

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Professor N: “I just went to a staff development meeting.  Look at me now, in 45 minutes I’m more developed.”  (Then he gave the biggest grin like the Grinch who stole Christmas.)

Student and Professor B: “What is on the exam?”  “Questions”

Professor G Scenario 1:  This guy has a voice as deep as the ocean with a New Jersey attitude.  “I’m going to sit while giving lecture today because I’m fat and lazy, plus I hurt my foot in the bathroom.” When he did burn 2 calories to ‘skoot’ his chair around the room, it just creaked “SSKKRREEEEEEEEEKK”.  “During DNA Transcription there first needs to be an RNA primer “SSKKRREEEEEEEEEKK” that is the signal for DNA Polymerase to bind “SSKKRREEEEEEEEEKK” which is then later removed by another enzyme “SSKKRREEEEEEEEEKK” DNA polymerase I, Questions?” (My mind: “Yes, what’s the best treatment for biting my tongue?”)  When a student asked a question, he ‘skooted’ over to her while looking like a bobble-head on a dashboard. Then while he was answering her question…he belched!  “That was the enchiladas from lunch.”  The class just up-roared in laughter; meanwhile, the student who asked the question wanted to be on the ‘Highway to Hell” outta there! (Our class got front row seats to a reality TV show with this Professor.)

Professor G Scenario 2:  “So, we gotta find out who Mr. X (the father of the child) is…maybe he’s the mail man bringing his package of cheer…or the milk man; it’s always the milk man.”

Student to Student, man to man: “Are you sexually frustrated?”

A couple of my friends were flirting (a Texan cowboy and an Alaskan cowgirl) while I mentioned to the rest of the group,  “She wants to be deep in the heart of Texas.”

Every Friday night there is a pick-up soccer game, and I started playing.  One guy mentioned that I had “Good ball control”…I said “No comment.”

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