MEAL 1: I was told to try Conch soup. Conch’s are similar to mussels apparently. My description would be half-dead eels that stare back at you as you say “ah” for them to enter. 2.37 minutes into eating the soup, the half dead eel halves rejoined in my stomach making a complete and active eel (AKA, a free colonoscopy). I think I’m conched- out. I hope y’all are not too disappointed that I literally could not stomach the other two soups on the menu: Bull foot and Souse. Notice the Malibu orange in the background to wash down the conch porridge.
The owner actually gave me free Heineken’s to settle the eel; however, I think I needed Jack Daniels to do the job, like a bullet to the head-quick and painless. At home I made coffee, but forgot filters at the store, so I made one from paper towel. Perhaps I should consider a coffee enema to battle the eel.
MEAL 2: Fish and dumplings from my landlord. There were so many spikes and a gigantic spine in this fish. The Chinese food with ground dog from the other night is starting to look pretty safe.
MEAL 3: Lobster! Raymond gave me a lobster today, and to get it home I put it in my purse/bike pannier. I HAD A LOBSTER IN MY PURSE! They have 12 legs by the way.
Lastly, this is what happens when a white mut from the northland goes for a 1 hour morning walk along the beach. My DNA does not have the mechanisms to handle these rays.